


Crap, I suck at titles

by orphan_account



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: And a bit of fluff, Blowjobs, Crack, F/M, Implied Masturbation, Smut, This is pretty cracky so, Viagra, actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 00:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2089401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frederick accidentally eats two Viagra pills, and he can't get his boner to go away, so he calls you to help him. That's it. That's the whole plot. Quality, eh?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crap, I suck at titles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jimhoppersbeard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimhoppersbeard/gifts).



Frederick Chilton was not a sexually active man, to say the least. He liked to blame it on his demanding job and his cane, and refused to acknowledge that it was probably due to his personality. That is not to say that he didn't get ~~a daily~~ regular releases, but those came about because of his own hand or his pillow. This routine meant that he didn't experience unexplainable boners, and hadn't for a very long time (though he did experience quite a few explainable ones). That is, until now. He shifted uncomfortably once again, as his cock got harder. There was nothing arousing about his office, and he had been sitting here alone for two hours, the last half spent waiting for the two pain killers he had taken to take effect. Unless what had aroused him was the economy report about the hospital in front of him, in which case he was going to go sign up for his own cell. Since he highly doubted this to be the case, he made up his mind to simple wait till this... unfortunate circumstance simply went away by itself.

Fifteen minutes later, the pressure on his member became unbearable. _Plan B then_ , he thought as he leaned back in his chair and flicked open his pants. _Just a quick rub-off and I can get back to work_. As he touched his now fully erect cock, he couldn't help the hiss that escaped through his lips. _Why the hell am I this sensitive?_

\-----

You rather liked working at the BSHCI. The personnel were more or less friendly, and the job as a secretary there was interesting. It certainly didn't make things worse that you had developed a certain crush on your boss. It was the kind of crush that left a nice warm feeling in your stomach every time he walked by, but not the kind that made you want to throw up with nerves every time he talked to you. On the contrary to apparent popular opinion, you found him very attractive; if everything went well, your plan to make him take a liking to you in particular amongst the other staff would work, and you would get a chance to see him a bit closer. Preferably naked. Chasing those thoughts from your mind for now, you went back to sorting through the post that had come in for the prisoners.

\-----

It wasn't until almost an hour later that it occurred to him, and by then, he was in total denial. This was not happening. He was a doctor for God's sake, a man capable of saving lives with his expertise (well, in theory anyways), and of course this wasn't happening, he would have known if they weren't the right pills. The throbbing between his legs told him otherwise. With a groan he looked down at his still full erection, now sore from the vigorous tugging that had led to his revelation. He had gotten off twice already, but the amount of semen that he had excreted was surprisingly (worryingly) small. Looking back at his laptop screen, where a paused video clearly showed two orderlies fiddling around with his pills, he cursed them inwardly and swore to himself that he would make damn sure that they never found a job in a medical facility of any kind ever again. In the mean time, he was still painfully hard.

 _It's a damn good prank_ , he admitted to himself gloomily; no matter what he did, there was no way this could go unnoticed by others, no matter which course of action he chose. He would have to go to the emergency room, probably, but just the thought made him nauseous with humiliation. Instead, his hand hovered over the dial on the intercom that would connect him to yours; you had seemed to nice and friendly when he walked past you in the morning. He had hoped that it meant that he had a chance with you, and he knew that if he called you in here now, that chance would be gone. However, if there was an even slight likelihood that someone from his staff would be able to keep their mouths shut about this, it would be you. Reluctantly, he pressed down the button and called you up.

\-----

 _Now, this was unusual_ , you thought, as you took the stairs up to Frederick's office. Never having been there before, it seemed strange that he would ask you to come to his office immediately. It wasn't like you were going to complain, but you were intrigued. As you stepped in, the first thing you noticed was that he looked feverish, skin flushed and sweaty, him panting slightly. He was sitting in his chair, so close to the table that his stomach was touching it. Closing the door, you strode over to stand in front of him, the wooden surface between you and him, awaiting whatever order or message he called you up for. There was an awkward silence as his eyes kept darting to anywhere but you. The doctor cleared his throat multiple times and opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemingly changed his mind right before the words could escape him, every time.

\-----

 _God, this is horrible_ , he thought, trying to compose himself. After more than two minutes, he decided _to hell with it_ , and cleared his throat for the last time before speaking; "I have a problem", he said, trying to force himself to meet your eyes but failing, instead staring at your chin. You didn't say anything, just tilted your head slightly to the side, waiting for an explanation. "I... You see, I have this... Oh God, this is awkward. I have a slight...". Again, he fell into a deep silence. Without warning, you stepped around the table and stopped right next to him, putting your hand on his forehead; "fever?", you asked. It took all of his restraint not to shy away from the touch; a touch that most definitely should not make his cock jump like it did. Suddenly, before he could stop himself, the words just started pouring out at an impressive speed; "Two orderlies snuck in here and replaced my pain mediation with Viagra pills and I didn't notice because I was in a hurry and I took two and for the past hour I've been hard and it hurts and I've ejaculated twice but it's not enough it isn't working and oh God I need your help what am I supposed to do?!".

\-----

It took a second before the words registered, at which point you felt a certain twinge between your legs, but you took a deep breath. This was your chance, and you weren't going to waste it by looking like an eager slut, even if he involuntarily did make you feel like one. "We ought to call an ambulance", you said, forcing your voice to sound bored. You weren't going to call an ambulance, of course, but you might as well tease him while you were at it, since he was in no position to fire you. His beautiful green eyes looked at you, then, a sudden panic filling them; "there must be another way! I- ", he started, but suddenly his eyes squeezed shut as a groan escaped him, his hips seemingly shifting on their own accord. Oh, was all you could think, more aroused than you had been in a long time. Time to move this a step further.

Slowly, you pulled his chair out so that his crotch became visible, and your heart skipped a beat; his pants and underwear were around his ankles, his cock leaking and bigger than you had imagined, and yes, you had imagined it. You let your eyes stay there for a while, before slowly looking back at his mortified face. Evidently, he was too embarrassed or aroused to notice your pupils dilating. You took a seat right in front of him on the desk, his naked knees touching the thigh-high stockings that you wore below your skirt. "I can't imagine it was your Viagra, Frederick", you said, a teasing smirk around your lips; "Unless you suddenly found someone that you need to... impress?".

He scowled at you, looking for all the world like a really angry owl. You knew damn well that he didn't plan on getting laid any time soon, and he knew that you knew. However, his pride was calling for him to retort; "Who is to say that I didn't have certain plans for tonight?", he asked; "Don't project your own lack of a sexual life unto your readings of me. But no, they aren't mine. I certainly don't need them". Somehow, he managed to produce the most arrogant smirk you had ever seen. You hated arrogant smirks. Without thinking, you leaned forward and grabbed his pulsating hard-on; the resulting moan that left him was almost inhumane, his hips snapping up to meet your firm grip. You had planned to get something out of this too, but the sight of him becoming so completely undone was too good to pass up on. Besides, he could always return the favor later. You pumped once again, and immediately noticed the slight wince that mixed with the pleasure evident on his face, and realized that he was probably sore from trying to get rid of the problem himself. Well, there were other ways than your hand.

Before he could get his bearings, you knelt down and took him in your mouth. "Dios mio", he choked out between moans, as your tongue dragged along his head, taking extra good care to cares the slit with the your tip, as you kept bobbing up and down. Chilton was gripping the arms of his chair do tightly that his knuckles turned white, and had he been able to form a coherent thought, he might have been scared to break it. The few inches that you couldn't have in your mouth you made sure to stimulate with your hand. Moving it up to grab him and twisting your wrist on every other down stroke, you moved to lick his balls, before returning your lips to his shaft. Experimentally, you let your fingers travel to the space between his testicles and his penis; the slight touch that you applied made him buck up, hitting the back of your throat, and earned you a sound that made you moan deeply with want.

At this point, Frederick was a writhing, whimpering, begging mess. More than half the words leaving his mouth weren't in English; the ones that were, were mostly "God, my, please, oh, fuck" and "shit". However, as he neared his peak, the occasional words became a seemingly never ending sentence "Oh my God please don't stop, oh this feels so- oh, OH, oh please, please, I, I, I - Oh God I'm gonna come, I'm so close oh please please, God please". He did a half-hearted attempt at pulling you away, but your grip on his thigh told him your intentions quite clearly. He frantically jerked up against your mouth two more times, before he came with a shout that could probably be heard two floors down. His body went rigid, his muscles clenching as he held you in place, his hips moving slightly every time a new string of cum was cast forward, until he was completely emptied and he slumped back in his chair with a groan, not very responsive. While he recovered, you pulled his clothes back in place and made sure that no stains were present (or at least noticeable).

\-----

As he slowly came back to himself, the first thing he became aware of was you gently closing his pants. The second was that his erection was blessedly absent. As soon as you had finished with the last button, he pulled you to him, making you sit on his lap while he nuzzled his nose into your hair. He sat with you like that, enjoying the warmth and weight against him; he had no idea when this went from flirtatious teasing, to giving a blowjob (for reasons he couldn't really understand; he had thought that maybe it was to show the power you had over him, but evidently, he was wrong. He felt too tired to analyze it further), to feelings that warranted cuddling, and he didn't particularly care either.

After a while you stood up, and he followed, futilely trying to smooth out the wrinkles in his suit by dragging his hands over it; a task that he stopped as soon as the urge to kiss you became unbearable. Grabbing you arm, he spun you around, planting his lips firmly on yours. You stood choked for a second, and he was starting to fear that this might have been a bad move, that he fucked up, before you returned the kiss hungrily. He tilts you back slightly and licks your bottom lip to get access to your tongue. After a few rather intense minutes, you pulled back with an amused smile and dragged your thumb over his lower lip, which made him shiver slightly; "what was that?" you ask, looking at him, the amusement having crept into your eyes. He doesn't even have time to think, before he replies; "a promise".

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt on the lovely drwillton's Tumblr (http://drwillton.tumblr.com/). I originally intended to write a really deep story with a lot of hidden meanings 'n' stuff for my first fan fiction, but honestly, all I'm probably ever going to write is smut. Feedback is both lovely and welcome :)


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